DiNozzo's Rules

[seniorfieldagent]

1. Never sit on the sidelines when your people need you.

2 If a sexually attractive female is involved in the case ALWAYS hit on her.

3. Never underestimate your opponent.

4. Always seek out a movie analogy.

5. Take every opportunity to do a Tommy Lee Jones speech from the Fugitive.

6. When doing Tommy Lee Jones impressions, get the accent right.

7. Always defuse a situation with humor rather than resorting to authoritarianism.

8. Always make sure your work is done but make it look like you are just lazing around.

9. If said work is not yet done, come back in the middle of the night to complete it.

9a. Never ask a woman her weight on the first date.

10. Do not fall in love when working undercover.

11. Do not go undercover posing as the boyfriend of anyone.

12. Be very careful whom you tongue-kiss: it might be a man in disguise.

13. Never pick on a probie when he is down.

14. Maintain the morale of the rest of the team, even when you have sufficient experience to be really very worried about Gibbs.

15. Develop a first name working relationship with the Director but defer to Gibbs.

16. Don't drink the boss' coffee-ever.